Last night, my family decided to go see the Iowa Cubs, who are our local AAA team, play.
I am no great sports buff, but the concessions at ballparks are some of my favorites, and it was better than sitting around at home, so I agreed to go.
As the night wore on, I noticed that each member of my family has very different things that they enjoy, prioritize, pay attention to, and comment on.
Now, I'm no mind reader, but I know my family well enough that I can guess what they were thinking throughout the night. Here are my observations inning by inning.
On the way to the ballpark:
Dad: Will you kids be quiet back there? I'm trying to find the park!
Mom: Are they going to be this noisy and unsettled during our twelve-hour drive next week?! We've only been driving for an hour and you're already bouncing off the walls!
Hannah (13): All right, got my sunglasses, purse, wallet, book, notebook-- Wait, where's my pencil? I need my pencil! You don't want me to be bored, do you? Oh, wait, there it is. I'm all set.
Josh (11): I hope the Cubs win! Maybe I can catch a ball. Hey, where are we sitting? Can we get seats along the first base line? What do you guys think? Look, I have this park map right here.
Nate (8): I wonder if Mom and Dad will buy me a hotdog.
Inning One:
Dad: Alright, kids, you each get $10 to spend plus any of your own money.
Mom: Oh, I forgot to get a scorecard. Oh well.
Hannah: Wait-- what just happened? I missed it! Everyone's yelling-- what's going on?
Josh: WHOA! Did you see that catch? They should call that third-baseman up to the the majors!
Nate: Mmm... Pizza.
Inning Two:
Dad: Inning Two and we've already spent $20 on food...
Mom: No, Nate, you can't jump up and down on the seats.
Josh: CUBS SCORE!!!!
Nate: There's an "s" on my pizza box. Wonder what it stands for? Scrumptious? Surprising?
Inning Three:
Mom: Hannah, stop dancing, the people behind us are staring at you.
Hannah: Hey, Josh, if we dance to the music, we can get on the JumboTron!
Josh: Aw, come on! That left-fielder should have let it go foul! Now the Zephyr who was on third scored!
Nate: Surprisingly Scrumptious Special Sausage!
Inning Four:
Dad: Nate, stop jumping around and just watch the game.
Hannah: I think I'll read for a while...
Nate: *Gasp* Where did that girl down there get Dippin' Dots???????
Inning Five:
Hannah: Excuse me? Cotton Candy man? Um, excuse me?
Mom: Hannah, you're not supposed to be so polite. (Well, that's something I don't say every day.)
Josh: *Gasp* The Zephyrs scored! Now the score is tied!
Nate: Mom? Can I have some Dippin' Dots?
Inning Six:
Josh: He bobbled the ball! That's the difference between minor league baseball and major league baseball. No major league player would have missed that catch.
Hannah: Finally saw something happen! One man was running, and another man tried to catch the ball, but then he started juggling... what on earth?
Nate: I'd pay for the Dippin' Dots myself, you know.
Inning Seven:
Mom: Fine, Nathaniel! You can have your ice cream thing.
Hannah: *Sigh* I finished my book. Now what am I supposed to do?
Josh: GO CUBS!!!!!!! They're winning!
Nate: Finally got my Dippin' Dots! Persistence really does pay off!
Inning Eight:
Josh: If the cubs can just hold the Zephyrs off for another half-inning, the Cubs will win! I can't remember the last time I was at a baseball game where the team I was rooting for won!
Dad: Come on, Cubs!
Hannah: Will everyone quiet down, already? I can't hear my iPod! Nate: These are the best Dippin' Dots I've ever eaten.
Inning Nine:
Dad: How did the smallest person spend the most on food?
Mom: *Yawn* Time to go.
Hannah: Wow! He hit that ball really far! WoooHoooo! Wait, why am I the only one cheering?
Josh: I DON'T BELIEVE IT!!!! That Zephyr guy have to hit a three-run homer! Now the Cubs are down by two! Am I never going to get to go to a baseball game where the team I'm rooting for actually wins?
Nate: Can we go home yet?
The Way Home:
Mom: Ah... peace and quiet at last!
Hannah: Zzzzzzzz.....
Josh: Zzzzzzzz.....
Nate: Zzzzzzzz.....
Dad: $2 tickets... $50 snacks... Priceless memories....
